Sunday, September 19, 2010

Clean up your act ...

“There was a time when you would be anxious to slide your feet out from under the covers and place them on the cold, pristine floor of the dormitory, but not this day. Today is your one year anniversary as a recovering alcoholic and you should be celebrating. But it’s also another anniversary isn’t it; one that doesn’t bear commemorating.”

“Do you remember the occasion? Does your mind replay the events over and over or have your hardened your heart against the fray?”

“Wake up! Get out of bed! You need to remember! Let me help you...”

“Twelve months ago to the day you were traveling home from a weekend party at Becky’s, still hung-over and suffering from a lack of sleep. Anxious to get there in time to shower before going to work, you were traveling too fast for conditions, as usual. Think! What did you see when you sailed around the last corner before the flats? Come on! What did you see?”

“Let me help you with a few more clues! It had four feet and a young girl on its back. And what were they doing? They were out for an early morning ride, enjoying life. “

“Look at you. Each day you remember those events as if they were today, crystal clear and poignant, don’t you? When are you going to start living your life again? Get over it. It’s not just about you, you know. “

You stumble out of bed and make your way to the bathroom sink.

“What use are you anyway?” you continue to rail into the mirror. “Clean up your act and get on with it.”
Does this work as an example of 2nd person writing? Written in response to the prompt "clean" from Sunday Scribblings.


  1. An unusual approach which definitely works.

  2. Yes, its excellent in second person. Kept me hanging on for the facts. Very well done, and I suspect a story applicable to many!

  3. It sure works. And I see another story lurking in there!

    my monkey reads you well

    And don't forget to aboard the Poetry Train every Monday mornings and thereafter!

  4. Well written and I like that voice of the conscience telling the story. Somehow makes it even more immediate.


  5. Very real, the conscience would would play over and over ... well written!

  6. i always stumble and make my way to the bathroom never making my bed on time :(

    better clean than careful

  7. Nice approach to clean up one's act in past and to move on